Big birthday wisdom - about career change and other things.
Big birthdays do something to you, don't they?
For me, they make me pause and assess.
To attempt to lock in something different. A new realisation. A new piece of wisdom. A new way of seeing the world or a new story to tell myself.
So that I can progress - as a human.
Every five years or so, I seem to throw some crap out the window. I declutter. And choose what I want (or need) to thrive - as a human.
Big birthdays happen every five years.
Whatever you’re feeling about your next big birthday, they are a milestone many of us use to pause and ask “Am I doing this life thing right?” And then to take some deliberate action to get more of what we want - or less of what we don’t want.
At 30, I decided to put more effort into sustaining a long-term relationship.
At 35, I put more energy into creating a little family and drawing my wider family closer.
At 40, I worked hard on stopping caring so much about what others thought. And started thinking about what I needed. (I left my old career at 43)
At 45, I stepped back from social media scrolling and that opened up hours of possibilities. I then I filled those hours with learning new stuff, meeting new people, gaining new perspectives and setting up my first ever business.
At 50, with older children and elderly parents, I decided to create a body that would last me a lifetime, grow the business in ways that would allow me to work anywhere in the world for as long as I wish to work and prioritise quality time with my parents.
Here are some of the biggest things I know, now that I'm in my 50s.
You may not connect with some of them - or any of them!
But I encourage you, whatever your age, use them as an inspiration to take a blank page and try to write down 20ish things that you are certain to be true. Your wisdom, so to speak.
It's not a bad way to spend 30 mins of your life. And who knows where it might lead?
Here goes…
We aren't getting any younger. Now is the right time.
Few of us ask enough questions - of ourselves and others - to progress quickly. (Here are 5 good ones)
Our bodies post-50 could be described as “vintage”. They need special attention. We need to be strong to grow old.
The most important stories in the world are the ones we repeat inside our heads. Choosing that story changes lives. (Here are four stories you might be telling yourself that are keeping you stuck)
An untamed inner critic can destroy us. It's hard but we can tame it. Imagine the possibilities if you could shut up your negative voice forever? (I run a masterclass on this as part of The Fierce Emporium)
Perfectionism is a form of anxiety that totally cripples our potential for joy - in work and life. (Have you done the midlife Joy-at-work quiz yet?)
Our kids learn life from what they see us do. Show don’t tell. (A Youtube short on this topic)
Surround yourself with people who feel the way you want to feel. Watch, listen and learn. (what happens if we don’t value our people)
You deserve to feel valued and valuable at work. Make changes if you don't. (Here’s my best value career design programme to help you)
When you expect people to be good, more good happens.
Figuring out why we feel bad, frees us to feel good. (Here’s a free starter kit to help you)
If we wait until we’re ready, we waste time we may not have. (How to know if you’re ready for change)
We all have a Superhero and Dark Knight version of ourselves. Understanding and accepting both frees us to stop wearing an exhausting mask.
The "I'm right, you're wrong " stance is at epidemic levels in western society. It hinders progress…and happiness.
Self-understanding is the most powerful and valuable gift to self. (One graduate of the Fierce Emporium tells you why)
Saying "yes" to tiny new things builds the necessary muscles needed to make bigger changes easily. (Experimentalism - in me)
Saying "no" often is critical if you are to create enough time and energy to say “yes” to the things your truly want and need.
Age isn't wisdom. Wisdom doesn’t always come with age.
Kindness makes the world spin brighter. (Which why all clients get trained in my novel, generous method of networking for midlife humans )
We learn fastest from those who've been where we are and have reached where we want to be. (My story of change on Tedx)
Knowing what you really want is the hardest question in life. But perfectly answerable. With the right questions. (Starter questions)
People who enjoy working into their 60s/70s are life-long learners and great at maintaining deep relationships. (Is it even possible to work full-time in your 60s?)
Laughter and heart-ache reside right beside each other in our body. Accepting both leads to a fuller life. (Grief and career design)
Two ears, one mouth. (How being heard can transform your career)
Deciding what we want our legacy to be, shifts the focus of our lives and work. (Case study: Iona)
No-one dies wishing they’d work more. (an old article I wrote about the regret of the dying)
It’s harder to make change when things are really bad…why not make change before they get really bad? (Easier, faster change)
For smart people, boredom can be very stressful - even if it doesn’t look like it from the outside (Case Study: Joelyn)
There’s a big difference between spending and investing. One is a waste of money, the other changes your life. (Compare price programmes)
Over to you…
Why not write your list? f you do, let me know how you go.
Share your thoughts with the world or just me.
Deliberately design your future work to fit you and feel better.
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