Reclaiming Middle Aged Me (3 years on) - My biggest work regret
The third instalment of the Middle aged me series of articles, taking a look at one of my former clients career design evolution over a number of years.
This is the third guest article from this wonderful former client. His story of career redesign also featured in my book, X Change: How to torch your work treadmill.
He chooses to remain anonymous. He strings words together so beautifully, I keep hounding him for a new article every year. It’s fascinating to watch his midlife career design change and to hear about his lessons along the way.
A quick recap
I’ve been here before. In 2018, then a year later.
The previous articles explained the impact that a toxic work environment had on my health, welfare and life in general.
It took me a number of years before I did anything about it, but eventually a serious health scare forced the issued. I resigned without a job to go to.
The articles were ‘Reclaiming Middle Aged Me’ and ‘Lessons Learned From Reclaiming Middle Aged Me’.
A quick update
Three years have now passed since that first article and I remain (I think) ‘Middle Aged’. I’m not sure when ‘Old Age’ kicks in, but I’m not admitting to it quite yet.
Many things have happened in the intervening years.
Perhaps most poignantly, I joined a company and resigned within a year. The culture was ‘unpleasant’ to say the least, with lots of ‘management’ by shouting, with no tolerance for a viewpoint other than that of one person.
It wasn’t impacting my health like the role I described in ‘Reclaiming Middle Aged Me’, but it was a grim working environment. My experience has taught me that life is way too short to tolerate this.
There are many, many good companies, with a positive culture, so don’t waste your life on one that fails to maintain this basic principle.
One of my biggest learnings from this experience, was that having resigned from a role for the very first time, it’s far less scary to do it again.
You clearly don’t want to make a habit of it, but I made my decision with full knowledge of what to expect. I didn’t spend years thinking about all the reasons not to do it.
I’m now very happy in a new role within a different company.
Why the trilogy?
Lucia recently published an article about regrets in life and in work. It struck a chord with me because I have a work regret that has stayed with me for years.
It’s maybe a bit unusual, but it’s quite sobering and worth sharing as part of the encyclopaedia of life experiences.
My work regret
It relates to a decision I made many years ago and remains the biggest regret of my professional life.
It’s not a long story, but I still think about it today. It reflects the danger of a becoming a corporate machine, at the expense of doing the right thing.
The scene behind the biggest regret of my career
My company at the time had recently been acquired by a competitor and there was clearly going to be much change. I was the FD for one part of the UK business.
As part of the acquisition, the Board of the acquiring company were visiting local management for the first time. I was under no illusion that we would be in for a grilling.
Sadly (and in parallel) a much respected colleague in the business had recently passed away. Furthermore, the day of the funeral coincided with the day that our new leaders were visiting the UK business for the first time.
The funeral was at lunchtime and the Board meeting was mid-afternoon. My company laid on coaches to take staff to the funeral. The office was largely empty.
I however, decided that it was more important for me to stay behind and revise my numbers, so that I was prepared for any possible question that I may be asked. I have a certain Myers Briggs personality profile that demands thoroughness and a desire to always ‘do a good job’.
In this case, it drove a decision that was wrong.
I regretted it almost immediately.
I should have been at the funeral to pay my respects. This was someone I liked and who had treated me well. It was my one and only opportunity to ‘do the right thing’.
Instead, I stayed to prepare for a corporate meeting.
It remains my worst workplace decision and the biggest personal regret of my professional career.
What have I learned?
Nonetheless, life is all about learning.
I now know that I would never let ‘Corporate’ take precedence over ‘Personal’
My life is now far more balanced than it was then. I’m also very aware of how decisions in the past can remain in the conscience for a long time into the future
Finally, the personality profile that has served me so well over the years, just needs to be paused, tempered and reflected on every so often
If you liked this article, you’ll also like these:
Career trauma and stress - ignore these whispered warnings at your peril
I worry about losing what I’ve got left, a lot. Bridie’s story of multiple endings and one beginning
Two years ago, I thought I’d cracked my career happiness. Joanne’s story
